Narrative Parenting

I have a six-year-old who doesn't hush. Ever. She was born talking -- or at least that's the story I tell her, as her wide-eyed head peered around the delivery room ready to note every detail of her new world. She started speaking as early as developmentally possible... and really hasn't stopped since.

But I have to confess: the apple didn't far from the tree. I doubt anyone would describe me as quiet, and as a parent, I'm purposefully just as talkative. I'm engaging in what's known as narrative parenting.

So, what is narrative parenting exactly? It's the deliberate act of narrating your child's world to them. Beginning from birth, it's the act of talking to your children. "Mommy's opening the window." "This is Daddy's nose." Narrative parenting goes beyond teaching your child single words; it's a process of describing things to your children, using adjectives and complex thoughts. "It's beautiful outside today. The sun is glistening." And as your child grows, it's continuing to talk with them as you explain new, challenging, and abstract concepts.

The simple act of talking to (and with) your kids may seem like a given, but if you casually watch parents interact with their children (from babies to teens), you'll notice that--in general--little conversation exists. In a world filled with technology, the act of engaging with one's children is becoming less commonplace.

By talking with your children, you are helping them to grow cognitively, socially, and emotionally. You are helping neural schemas (or pathways) form in their brains. You are expanding their vocabularies. You are enhancing their imaginations (turning a simple "ball" into "a pretty round ball, that's red with purple polka dots, and bounces high in the sky"). And most importantly, you are bonding with your child. The baby that mom and dad talks to becomes the teen that talks to mom and dad.

During the month of June, I'll continue to explore the concept of narrative parenting, including talking with children of all ages about a variety of topics (e.g., food allergies, differences, discipline).

Thought for today: Introduce a new concept to your kids. Share something with them that's just beyond their realm of understanding, and then help to scale it back to their level.

Practicing What I Preach: In the grocery store last weekend, my children were being, well, WILD. My six-year-old daughter is the oldest, and often the ring-leader, so I asked her to please use some "restraint." "Do you know what restraint means?" I asked her, knowing she didn't. I then explained it was practicing self-control. We talked more about what "self-control" meant, and in the days that have passed since, I have reminded her of that conversation, encouraging her to practice using restraint in places where it was important for her to be on her best behavior.